I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
