as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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