i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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