Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you never un-have a 4some
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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