The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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