just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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