R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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