Whod you bang
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch