called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever