What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
