I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Houston, we have a squirter
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
