She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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