Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
