Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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