I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
