I cannot find my penis.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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