Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
