I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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