She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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