im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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