There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
