I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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