i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You brought string cheese to the strip club
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
