All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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