Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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