You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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