She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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