Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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