I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is Oprah even human
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
