god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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