Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
