I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
