I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
