I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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