I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Acid is not a monday night drug
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
