she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
