I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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