Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
