My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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