I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
