you win again, gameday.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
