so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
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Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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