Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

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(925): View more from California

We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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(646): View more from New York

Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name

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(847): View more from Illinois

My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.

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(415): View more from California

Never let your siblings swipe right.

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