I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
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I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?