used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."