Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
