I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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