god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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