You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
