Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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