I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
