Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
