so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
