Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize