Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
