The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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