I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
