Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
