KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
