not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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