I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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