PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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