Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
