He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
