Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
